5 months...plus reflections

Our sweet little Conrad celebrated 5 months with us last week. And I had complete plans to post the following day and well kind of typical it didn't happen. In all seriousness this little boy has stolen my heart in exactly the same and such a different way as his big sister did. Everyone told me that  your heart will grow and you have room in there for another. I didn't really believe it but man oh man were they right. They were also correct about that the love for your other child grows as well. I am nearly brought to tears every single time I see the two of them together she loves him so much and he watches her every move!

I will say that the hubs and I hit the jackpot when it comes to good babies. Charlot was amazing she rarely fussed, played easily, was really happy, and loved sleep. We were worried that we were crazy to chance it again but man oh man did we get the world's happiest baby. Conrad is constantly smiling, talking and moving and shaking. I can't tell you how many people have said to me he is just the happiest baby. And truly he is. We are so bless and thankful. Happy 5 months Conrad thanks for joining in on our crazy.

I have been reflecting on this for quite sometime and I never really had the courage to put the words down but I need them off my heart and out of my head. You see late last month it had been a year since my papa passed away, something I still struggle with. I still cry, I still talk about him because I want Charlot to remember him and I want Conrad to know him, I still think about him all the time.

For those of you who don't know I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for several weeks to confirm my pregnancy last fall. Then my papa passed away and I was never able to tell him that I was expecting again. (When we told him about Charlot he nearly jumped out of his skin). Well lo and behold his funeral was held the day before my scheduled appointment. On Monday we laid him to rest and my heart broke and broke, then on Tuesday my prayers were answered and my heart soared I got to hear our babies heart beat for the first time. Talk about an emotional roller coaster.

The bible says that the good Lord giveth and the Good Lord taketh away, and truly last October he did that for me. It was time for one of the most important men in my life to go home and in the same turn it was time for another important man to enter my life.  I truly see so much of papa in my sweet little Conrad. His sideways smile, his laugh and his desire to be heard (papa always needed to be heard). Some may think it is just me wanting to see it and maybe it is but for me it is his way of saying you did good and I'm ok.

Thanks papa for being the man you were and continue to be in my life I pray I can raise my children to be as full of love as you were. You created a Beautiful Family and Life. Love and Miss you ALWAYS